old light hangs

the old light hangs
over top of the dinner scene
the smell of the missing hedges
mixes with the smell of roasting corn.
(taps on wine glass with lobster meat-poker)
‘alright,
i never knew how hard it was
to do something, grandfather,
i never knew until now how
our whole self comes into it,
is drawn up and strikes effortless
to the center.
but i think i am starting to know what all you aged
folk went through to get here,
and i salute you; it was no easy task.
so, we have come here today to re-believe in
dying, since what else is a birthday?
we have all come here to see what there
is to see, wring some joy out of life,
celebrate when the time is ripe.
the most important thing, to me, is that we
are all here together, sharing this moment.
there is nothing else as valuable, and i am blessed
to know you gorgeous humans, and to be able to move
forward with you.
i feel, having lived this long, like i have only
touched
the
surface, and that the depths below are warm
and waiting.
(pause)
i want to change for you,
to become grand and visionary
and make the family and the whole world
proud and interested
it is more likely
i will become
a more easy and
serious
version of myself
and surprise and disappoint and torment
all of us to no end.
i wish us all the best in the coming year
and i look forward to seeing what we all
get up to.
thank you, i love you, thank you.’
and the night down settles in even further,
the conversation drifts comfortably
back and forth between us like a balloon.
it gets darker, we say our temporary goodbyes.
we are sad to see each other go,
and happy when we meet again.
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